These are great times that we are living in...
I'm sure that future generations will look back at our accomplishments with awe and wonder.
I can see it now. In 50 or 60 years when I'm an old man who wears my pants up to my nipples and hangs out at McDonald's all day getting free coffee refills, my grand kids will come to me and ask what it was like."
"Grandpa, tell us what the Willenium was like."
"Oh, Billy, it was a wonderful time, it was." I can imagine that my eyes will glaze over as I talk about the days of my youth, the days when I had solid bowel movements on a regular basis and had a full head of hair.
"People say that the Willenium began in the late 90s but that's not true. It really began on September 25, 1968, the day that Willard Christopher Smith Jr. was born. Although he was quiet in his formative years, Smith broke out in his late teens and delivered the first of what would be many chart-topping rap songs. With DJ Jazzy Jeff at his side, Smith, using the name The Fresh Prince, rapped about the lack of parental understanding, the joys of summer time and Freddy Krueger.
"After conquering the rap game, Smith focused on acting. He starred in the early 90s sitcom "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." The show starred Smith as a teen from Philly who moved to Bel-Air to live with his aunt and uncle because the "City of Brotherly Love" had become too violent. The show also featured Alfonso Ribeiro (who's appearance shocked a world that thought he had died years earlier in a break dance move gone horribly wrong), and a fat guy who was often confused with Roc or the guy from "Family Matters" who played a cop in at least a dozen movies in the late 80s.
"After dominating network television, Smith set his sights on Hollywood. He proved that he had serious "acting chops" in the film "Six Degrees of Separation" before becoming one of the biggest action stars of all time with "Independence Day" and "Bad Boys."
"'97 was a memorable year for Smith. He broke box office records with the sci-fi comedy "Men in Black" while at the same time topping the rap charts one more time with the movie's title cut. The song was catchy as hell and it was impossible to ignore Smith that summer.
"Many box-office and rap hits followed in the following years, culminating with '04s "I' Robot." The film imagined a world where robots ignored their programming and began killing. Smith's character caught on to the robots' plans early but no one believed him. Smith didn't rub it in though, instead he chose to kick some robot butt and save the world.
"Politics came next, and Smith left Hollywood for Washington. He served THREE terms as president and is remembered as one of the most popular leaders of all time.
"And that's it, kids. That's the way that it happened and don't let anyone tell you differently."
3 comments:
Very funny.
I would like to point out that Bad Boys was not the box office hit Mr. Smith would like us to believe. The film made 64 million dollars at the box office. To put that in perspective this year Hidalgo, Garfield and even White Chicks have grossed more than Bad Boys.
I am also not sure Will Smith and Jeff Townes' songs can be called 'chart-topping'. The duo only had one top five song with "Summertime", which peaked at #4. Most of the albums they released were forgettable flops full of gimmicks like using someone else's name to try to encourage sales. In addition to the unauthorized 'Freddy Krueger' rap was the absurd 'I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson.'
I only hope in the future your grandkids look at a picture of Will Smith and say to you "Jeez, Will Smith, Carrot Top, Yahoo Serious and Vin Diesil! Did they just give anyone a movie back then?"
SNIP--------(who's appearance shocked a world that thought he had died years earlier in a break dance move gone horribly wrong), ------------
I REMEMBER THIS LEGEND.
Now I'm scared, very very scared
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