Americans want everything to be big.
We want big paychecks, big homes, women with big boobs (actually not all men do but I'm trying to make a point. In fact, I'll take my boobs anyway that I can get them, and I'm incredibly grateful when any woman allows me to see them and it doesn't require a ten dollar cover, over-priced non-alcoholic drinks and a stack of one dollar bills), and most of all big cars.
SUVs to be exact.
I find these gas guzzling vanity machines to be a big waste of money and space. But, hey if you want to spend your money on a ridiculously priced vehicle I'm not going to stop you.
Just learn to park the damn thing!
Nothing aggravates me more than seeing a person in a truck the size of Grave Digger who has no control of their vehicle. I notice this most when SUV owners are trying to park. If I had a dollar for everytime some jack ass had to back out of a spot and try again because they were in danger of hitting the car next to them, I would have enough money to afford the ten dollar cover and over-priced non-alcoholic drinks at my favorite "gentleman's club" on a nightly basis.
And not only do SUV drivers have to be seemingly guided into a parking spot by an air traffic controller, they do it as slow as Grandpa Irving.
Call me nostalgic if you want, but I wish that things were like they were in the 70s and early 80s when one kind of vehicle ruled (and Little League coaches were allowed to hit their players). Sadly, SUVs and more importantly minivans have killed the station wagon. Seriously the wagon was a great vehicle, but for some reason you can't drive one today without being laughed at.
When I was dating my ex we rarely had serious arguments. The most serious occurred when I said that if we ever got married and had kids I would refuse to drive a mini van, and that the vehicle of choice for the family would be a station wagon. You would have thought that I had told her that I just cheated on her.
ME: "Honestly, Honey, I just can't do it. I could never drive a mini van."
EX: "Why?"
ME: "I don't know, it's just so emasculating."
EX: "And?"
The fight lasted a few hours, but we finally made up.
We agreed that when the time came we would buy an SUV.
1 comment:
Don't you wish you could throw rotten tomatoes at these stooges while they wrestle with their steering wheels in the mall parking lot. Most likely they are SITCOM's that used to be DINK's still trying to live like DINK's even though they are SITCOM's. Bunch of s*%#ters.
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