Bill, It's Me

Hey, Bill. Down here. No, not that far down. Up higher. Here. Yup, right here. Hey, Bill, listen, we need to have a serious talk. I know, I know, we probably should have had it years ago, but we were just having too much fun. Remember that agreement that we had? Yeah, that unspoken agreement that said we would have fun until one of us couldn’t take it anymore. Well, Bill, I hate to say it, but that time has come. No, seriously. I’m not sure that I can take much more of this. I am a little clogged up. It feels like I’ve been working double time just to keep us going. Bottom line, Bill, if you want to keep “entertaining” all of those lovely interns, you’re going to have to start taking better care of me. A little salad now and then wouldn't hurt you. In fact, maybe now is a good time to get used to salads. I have a feeling that you are going to have to eat a lot more of them and a lot less of those delicious Big Macs. I know they’re tasty, but it’s come to the point where it’s either them or me. And I hate to say this, Bill, but you need me a lot more than you need them. It’s gonna be tough, I know, but we’ll get through this together. Selfish? How can you call me selfish? I’m having major renovations done down here just to keep you moving, and this is the attitude that I get from you? Seriously, Bill, you'd better get used to me callin’ the shots around here. Yup, me. It’s sad I know, Bill, but it’s time to do things my way for a while. You had your chance and look where it got us. Trust me, I know what I’m doing. So just listen to your doctor, Bill. Do what he says. And if you treat me right, there should be no reason for us to talk ever again.